FROM RETIREMENT TO PREFERMENT

The Second Bridge is a powerful relationship book about love, marriage, and emotional maturity—designed for people who want healthy, lasting relationships, not just romantic beginnings. Drawing on real research, coaching psychology, and lived experience across Africa and the United States, this book reveals why love alone is never enough—and what truly sustains commitment. The Second Bridge is not a romance manual. It is a deeply practical, research-informed guide to understanding why we love the way we do—and how to love better. Drawing on original research conducted across Africa and the United States, lived experience, coaching practice, and culturally grounded wisdom, Abas Alhassan challenges the myths we have inherited about relationships, love, marriage, and commitment. THE PROBLEM MOST RELATIONSHIP BOOKS WON'T TELL YOU: ✓ You can communicate perfectly and still be moving in opposite directions. ✓ You can be faithful, financially stable, and deeply committed—and still watch your relationship slowly die. ✓ Many couples don't fall out of love. They fall out of energy. They fall out of alignment. They operate on invisible agreements nobody remembers making. Every relationship runs on agreements—the danger is when no one remembers agreeing. WHAT MAKES THIS BOOK UNIQUE: ✓ Research-backed insights from 225 couples across the USA and Africa ✓ Cross-cultural perspective revealing universal relationship truths ✓ Brutally honest personal story of a 35-year marriage that failed—and what I learned from both the ending and the new beginning ✓ Practical tools you can use immediately: The Agreement Audit, assessment worksheets, discussion questions for couples ✓ Real talk about money, sex, children, religion, in-laws, and the hard conversations nobody wants to have THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU IF: → You're engaged or newly married and want to build it right from the beginning → You're in a long-term relationship that's "fine" but not flourishing → You communicate well but still feel disconnected → You're considering divorce and need clarity on whether to stay or go → You've been divorced and are ready to try again—but smarter this time → You're a coach, counsellor, or therapist looking for practical tools for couples INSIDE THE SECOND BRIDGE, YOU'LL DISCOVER: Why 15-16% of couples are unhappy but stay anyway—and the gap between unhappiness and actually leaving The invisible contract governing your relationship right now (and how to make it visible before it's too late) Why communication is necessary but not sufficient—and what actually creates lasting alignment The 8 factors that determine compatibility (education level ranks #1; physical attraction ranks last) How to navigate the adjustment phase of early marriage when reality replaces romance Money conversations that prevent financial betrayal (because money problems are rarely about money) The truth about children: They're the greatest joy and the strongest chain—51% of African respondents and 35% of Americans cite children as the primary reason they stay in unhappy relationships How to compromise without losing yourself—and when compromise becomes self-betrayal How to rebuild after divorce and find love again (with wisdom, not just hope)