Humans are social creatures: In this simple and obvious fact lies both the problem and the solution to the current crisis of loneliness. In his groundbreaking book, the 19th surgeon general of the United States Dr. Vivek Murthy makes a case for loneliness as a public health concern: a root cause and contributor to many of the epidemics sweeping the world today from alcohol and drug addiction to violence to depression and anxiety. Loneliness, he argues, is affecting not only our health, but also how our children experience school, how we perform in the workplace, and the sense of division and polarization in our society.
But, at the center of our loneliness is our innate desire to connect. We have evolved to participate in community, to forge lasting bonds with others, to help one another, and to share life experiences. We are, simply, better together.
The lessons in Together have immediate relevance and application. These four key strategies will help us not only to weather this crisis, but also to heal our social world far into the future.
- Spend time each day with those you love. Devote at least 15 minutes each day to connecting with those you most care about.
- Focus on each other. Forget about multitasking and give the other person the gift of your full attention, making eye contact, if possible, and genuinely listening.
- Embrace solitude. The first step toward building stronger connections with others is to build a stronger connection with oneself. Meditation, prayer, art, music, and time spent outdoors can all be sources of solitary comfort and joy.
- Help and be helped. Service is a form of human connection that reminds us of our value and purpose in life. Checking on a neighbor, seeking advice, even just offering a smile to a stranger six feet away, all can make us stronger.
During Murthy’s tenure as Surgeon General and during the research for Together, he found that there were few issues that elicited as much enthusiastic interest from both very conservative and very liberal members of Congress, from young and old people, or from urban and rural residents alike. Loneliness was something so many people have known themselves or have seen in the people around them.
In the book, Murthy also shares his own deeply personal experiences with the subject--from struggling with loneliness in school, to the devastating loss of his uncle who succumbed to his own loneliness, as well as the important example of community and connection that his parents modeled. Simply, it’s a universal condition that affects all of us directly or through the people we love—now more than ever.
Fonte –
In this insightful book, the author dissects the complex settings of narcissistic individuals and situations, offering an understanding into their manipulative tactics, the potentially devastating effect on their targets, and how to break free. A must read for anyone familiar with the terms “toxic”, “manipulation” and “narcissistic.”
Cyril –
Illustrates the characters out loud.
Tonious –
Refreshing. Everyone needs to read the book.
Tess Kazooba-Kuri –
As an older sister, wife, daughter, mother and parent this book has shed light to ensure that both my family relations and friendships are as they should be- devoid of narcissistic abuse.
On the other hand, it has also helped me self -reflect to ensure I correct some of the things I do in my relationships to ensure I don’t cause harm unknowingly.
The way you the book is arranged and the stories used (so relatable) make it an enjoyable read.
I’m glad to add this to my library!!!
Gabriel Mungai –
The best copy on Narcissistic relationships, explains narcissism in romantic relationships, family set up, Church set up, economic systems and on the political and governance Arena.
Gathoni gives practical, yet relatable examples from African fork lore, the bible and real life cases . Very comprehensive and easy to relate with.
I recommend it to everyone!!
Michael –
very good
Titus Burugu –
Very enlightening book. It challenges one self reflect and hence become self aware. The examples make it relatable to the everyday circumstances that we go through and I would encourage all to read it.
Titus Burugu –
Very enlightening book. It encourages one to self respect and hence become self aware. The examples shared provide relatable experiences in society and therefore I encourage all to read the book.
Thomas Gachiri –
Refreshing read. Well-illustrated with applicable and relatable examples. This book should a compulsory set book for all sociology related studies!